If you’re feeling adventurous and extra kinky- orgasm denial might be for you. You’re in the middle of getting intimate, and things are heating up when suddenly your partner stops touching you. You’re left feeling highly aroused by this erotic act. Orgasm denial is not to be confused with edging, which involves stretching out your orgasm for as long as you can. Orgasm denial is literally denying your partner or yourself from climax. While we know that blue balls aren’t any fun, orgasm denial is an electric build-up of anticipation. The point of this kink is to take your sexual encounter to the next level- even if you don’t finish. You’ll be enjoying longer sex and improving your orgasms. So, if you want to share an intense and needy sexual experience, try orgasm denial.

Scroll down to get into the nitty-gritty of it all and learn how to do it for your partner (or yourself).

1. Solo Session

Enjoy a solo pleasuring session ending with denying your own orgasm. While things are extra hot with a partner if you want to try orgasm denial by yourself first- reach for the sex toys. Use a vibrator or a dildo to bring yourself to the edge of orgasm, and then show some restraint and stop all movements. Similarly, you could use your hands to achieve the same results. For penis owners, when you are on the brink of orgasm, try squeezing the head of your penis for 30 seconds and release it. Expect to learn a lot about yourself and what your comfort zones are. Why not also reward yourself for showing great self-discipline? Once you’ve gotten the hang of it by yourself, you will feel more comfortable to try it with a lover.

2. Set Boundaries Together

Kinksters enjoy the power exchange that goes on with controlling and giving up control of orgasm. Dominants can create sexual tension, desire and anticipation when the submissive partner is brought to the brink of climax- and then denied the experience. But before trying this technique with a partner, have open communication and get enthusiastic consent that this is the sexual interaction you both want to have. Since this is a kink technique, other kink rules apply, like agreeing on a safe word to be used if things get too much for your partner. Keep the lines of communication open!

3. Get Kinky!

Since this is a power-play, bring in the restraints and turn up the kink! Bondage, handcuff, ropes, blind-folds and all the works. If the submissive partner is tied up, there is no way for them to interfere or fight back when they are on the verge of climax and suddenly all stimulation halts. Bringing in restraints and heightening your partner’s senses adds to the eroticism of the act and can lead to a very steamy sex session. Using sex toys together is also a great way to control orgasms, as the benefit of sex toys is that there is an easy on-and-off switch to stop stimulation.

4. Under Specific Terms

Often, the dominant partner will set specific terms and give verbal commands on when and whether or not the submissive partner can orgasm. These terms are usually along the lines of “if you’re a bad girl, you can’t come” or “you can come only after you (perform a certain sexual act)”. The act can be anything you and your partner come up with, such as after performing oral sex or dirty talking. You can shake things up by coming up with conditions at the moment and allowing orgasm once the submissive follows through with them.

5. Aftercare

After this intense moment, check in to see what your partner needs. Whether that’s a glass of cold water or some cuddles under the covers. The world of BDSM prioritises aftercare, and after practising orgasm denial, you should as well. Aftercare involves checking in on your partner’s feelings. After the highs they have experienced, follow the lows when they come down. So, be mindful and take care of each other.

So, are you ready to get kinky and experiment?

If you’re looking for a partner to have this thrilling experience with at Black Lace Escorts, we can set you up with your perfect match. Contact our friendly receptionists at Black Lace Escorts on 0400 774 488, or book online.