If you’re looking to get frisky, put the fork down! Narrowing down your menu choices ever so slightly can make all the difference when preparing to have sex. The last thing you want to experience pre-sex is digestive issues (don’t worry, it happens to us all). Having a sensitive stomach or performance-related anxieties means you need to be a little bit mindful of what you are ordering on your next date (or the next time you know you’re getting some).

Here is a list of six foods to avoid before getting it on.

1. Coffee: A hard one to avoid but a must. The last thing you want is to trigger stomach issues that can lead to a nightmare situation of diarrhea. Even if you are an avid caffeine drinker, potent coffee can amplify feelings of jitters and nervousness, which tragically can lead to an upset stomach. If you take milk with your coffee, we need no further explanation of why it’s a hard pass before getting it on. Don’t take the risk!

2. Spicy Foods: For penis owners, spice is not a friend to erections. Spicy foods are known to cause acid reflux and indigestion, making it exceedingly hard to maintain an erection. So skip the hot sauces fellas! And for those with a sensitive stomach, it can also lead to an uncomfortable and prolonged trip to the bathroom. The last thing you want is a burning sensation around your sphincter when someone else is going to be near or in that region.

3. An Italian Dinner: While a sexy Italian dinner is tempting, you want to avoid the pasta, pizza, etc (and we aren’t only worried about the cheese). Almost all carbohydrates result in the body’s production of gas. Not so fun when you know your body will be twisting in all kinds of ways. Not to mention that wheat is a known culprit of triggering bloating. And if your pizza is extra greasy, keep in mind that fat takes longer for your body to digest, so that heavy feeling will take a while to pass. Also, the garlic, while ever so tasty, is not a fan favourite when locking lips, so opt for an entree of the green salad rather than a slice of garlic bread.

4. A Side of Cruciferous Veggies: favorite We know that the pillars of health include high-fibre vegetables. However, if you know you’ll be getting down and dirty- you might want to skip the side of cruciferous vegetables (broccoli, cabbage, brussels sprouts, etc). Not only will you feel bloated from these dietary staples, but they also produce a minefield of gas in the body. For the sake of a good time, we think it’s okay to skip the fibre just this once.

5. French Fries: Disappointing, we know. French fries are just a lovable potato, relatively easy to digest. It is the oil that it’s fried in that is the problem. The fat contents of the oil will wreak havoc on your body. Fats take a while to digest, so sadly that all too familiar heavy and uncomfortable feeling will be following you around for a few hours. As an alternative, a baked potato is perfect. Save the delicious french fries for an after-sex snack instead.

6. Cream Sauces: If you plan on engaging in adult play, dishes with cream sauce should be avoided. The first reason is if you have a lactose intolerance, the cream will undoubtedly upset your stomach. The second reason is that heavy cream sauces contain plenty of fat, which as we know, the body likes to take its sweet time to digest. If you find yourself experiencing any cramps, cream could be the cause of that.

Pro Tip: Whatever it is you’re eating, make sure you don’t overeat- even if you’re eating the good stuff. You want your food to turn from fuel to stool fairly quickly to avoid digestive issues (which can really stump your sex life).

So there you have it. Be cautious the next time you’re about to have sex, and hope to avoid experiencing any gastrointestinal issues.

For a night you’ll never forget, at Black Lace Escorts, we can set you up with your perfect match. Contact our friendly receptionists at Black Lace Escorts on 0400 774 488, or book online.